Nutties have come and Nutties have gone. Ever since Original Nutty Ronny Hatlemark (a.k.a. Ynnor the Divine One) first contacted us and instigated the general principles of Nuttiness and Crazy Letters, the world has kept turning. Water has passed under bridges, stars have supernova'd, suns have imploded. We have gained new friends and lost some.

To capture the entire concept of Nutty Norwegians, we decided to re-feature and ruthlessly revise the "Encyclopaedia Norwegica" that originally appeared in ST NEWS Volume 5 Issue 1 (early 1990) - where it was originally included to enhance the general Sane People's Understanding of the real-time articles associated with the ST NEWS "Norway Quest", as well as the Nuttiness of Norwegians in general.

The revis(it)ed version contains 123 items, encyclopaedisized below.

12 YEARS: The critical age beyond which >females are no longer considered attractive by some particular >Norwegians. Also, this seems to be the age at which young Norwegians reckon it's a good idea to spend all evening French-kissing whilst dancing to music played by Disc Jockey >Claus, Leif Einar.

2 CM: Generally, this is the depth of a >Norwegian's brain, measured from the outside of the skull bone on. The rest of the huge head is filled by a very common substance popularly known as spaghetti. As we all know, only a slight percentage of this nourishing material is actually used - the rest is taken up by storing penguins.

24 HOURS: Maximum time allowed for any demo to be hacked if one is to earn the honoured title of >Hackbear, Lord. So far this title has been earned only once, by >Ose, Torbjørn.

48 HOURS: Movie starring Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy, filmed for the sole purpose of extending your vocabulary of four-lettered words and the like. Twice the time needed to hack any demo if one is to earn the title >HackBear, Lord.

ABRAHAMSEN, GARD EGGESBØ: Specimen of >Norwegians with A: A very funny name, B: A strange habit of writing bootsector viruses, now seemingly defunct, C: A specific allergy against furry animals and alcoholic liquors, D: An insanely witty look ever present on his face, E: A very specific taste in outward appearance, clothes and music, and E: Perhaps not rather so minute proportions. Also known as Drag The Insanely Witty One, The Foldable One, Oh Gard, The One Responsible For Previous Issue's Corner Of Lament, The Loneliest Of Norwegians, Zealot of O.U.C.H., Main Editor of Scriba Communis Responsum, The One Who Got Clobbered Over The Head With A Baseball Bat, Wearer Of Black Metal T-Shirts, The One Perpetually In Love With A Multitude Of Women, Creator Of The 845 Kb Ultimate Crazy Letter, The Oldest Norwegian Virgin, The Infinitely Insultable One, The One (And Only) Hater of Plantiac, The One With The Silly Excuse For A Moustache, Thinnest Of Northerners, Dweller Of Eggesbønes, Director Of "OUCH Home Vid" Parts One To Three, Heavy Metal Worshipper, The Topless One and The Minute Microbe.

ABRAHAMSEN, JARDAR EGGESBØ: Brother of >Abrahamsen, Jardar Eggesbø, who is possibly just as zany but probably a lot more successful with >females.

ADAMS, DOUGLAS: Author of the extremely absurd five-part trilogy called 'The Hitchhickers Guide to the Galaxy. Since >Norwegians regard these books as 'very funny', Non-Norwegians should take extra care reading them.

ADVERTISEMENTS: Something which >Norway is claimed to be famous all over the world for. However, doubt may be cast on this claim as it was made by He Who Is Probably The Most Chauvinist Norwegian To Roam The Earths, >Claus, Leif Einar.

ALIDA: 1: Norwegian for a place near >Ørsta where one empties one's garbage cans (seriously).

2: In Dutch, the name of a barely remembered girl that vaguely makes the words "cuddly" and "nice" enter your mind but that rather less vaguely calls to mind words along the lines of "bitch", "tart" and "not-quite-so-lovely". Creatress of the Divine Dessert, nonetheless, which is probably the only reason for her to go down the annals of world history.

ANDRESEN, IVAR F.: Opera singer after which the famous >IFA pastilles are called. He seems to have suffered from a >sore throat often.

ANNE-GRETE: Species of >female >Norwegian, about which can safely be assumed that she is a typical former inhabitant of >Barstadvika. Incidentally, she's also the girlfriend of >Hatlemark, Ronny and mother of >Jeanette.

APPLEDOOR, KLARINE: Fictitious character occurring in ST NEWS' "Oh Yeah II" (Volume 7 Issue 2), based on a certain Tiny Moustache'd Norwegian's love life.

BARSTADVIKA: Town in >Norway where the females are said both to be lovely as well as laugh-easy. When they laugh, everybody starts laughing. Actually, Barstadvika's town motto is "SMILO ET SMILEN OT" (which is latin for "To laugh or be laughed at").

BEL CANTO: On the contrary to many >Norwegians' prior tendency to think >Dance with a Stranger is the best Norwegian band, Bel Canto actually is. Also known outside >Norway, especially in France and Germany. But we're working on it.

BRENNSNUT: Norwegian meal consisting of all kinds of leftovers and other good stuff, causing severe disruption of the metabolic system in a way almost surpassing >Lada icecream. When translated into post-modern English, is means 'Running Nose'.

BRUNDTLAND, GRO HARLEM: The human ex-and current prime minister of >Norway, born on 20-4-1939. Some >Norwegians do not seem to be all too fond of her. Then again, some seem to be anyway. In earlier days, she was thought to be a man, but this has been set straight. Also see >Brundtland's Wrath.

BRUNDTLAND'S WRATH: The curse invoked upon mortal editors and master correspondents after having said that Mrs. Gro Harlem Brundtland actually was supposed to be a male. This wrath displays itself by miscellaneous apparitions of a certain vaguely female (and, indeed, vaguely prime-ministerial) shape.

BRUNOST: A Norwegian kind of brown cheese, of which the foul taste implies that its full name was actually 'Brundtlandost' and that it actually comes from between the toes of >Brundtland, Gro Harlem. Everybody aiding the sale, production and/or distribution of Brunost should be sent to Siberia wearing G-strings only.

BUBBLE BOBBLE: A nice little game published by Firebird around 1987 that is just as cute as a certain girl (with the same name as a garbage disposal place near Ørsta) used to be. When playing this game not quite to their satisfaction, any given member of the >female part of the >Norwegians will press F10.

BUDDHIST MONK: Someone (or something?) that succeeds in being just as sober as >Ose, Torbjørn, on New Year's Eve, even when on the brink of a new decennium.

CAMPER: Vehicle in which >Norwegians tend to drive around with loads of dogs (preferably >Papillons). During the holidays, when the dogs are kept quiet with rabbits called Tina and cats called Knis, innocent tourists are stored in it - preferably in >excessive quantities.

CAR DATING: A process by which any given car parks on any given location in any given Norwegian town, waiting for any given other car to park next to it. After this meeting stage, the windows are wound down and the people inside those given cars start chatting merrily. This often results in small traffic queues, especially on Saturday evenings. Perfect locations for this are parking lots (e.g. that of the >Esso station at >Ørsta), but it also happens in the middle of a street ofttimes.

CAT: 1: In the old days also called CT: Crazy (Audio) Tape. A long piece of cellophane containing magnetic particles arranged in such an order that playing it back using a cassette deck causes utter abhorrence and reverse movements of anyone's gullet. Typical example of distaste and oral rape. They should make a law against it. In the long history of CAT production, they are known to have been sent to >Norwegians as well as Extravagent English and members of the Dutch Spirits of Doom (in this last case they have been filled with the sound of 354 farts).

2: Creature with a furry coat and four legs (specimens on Gordon Shumway's planet have a tendency to have less, though) that >Norwegians like to dress up in shirts and shorts, and that >Papillons like to ride horseback on. In >Norway, these creatures are more often than not called Knis.

CF: 1: Crazy Footnote. Small, post-modern version of the >Crazy Letter (or CL). Especially >Holst, Kai tends to write these. The thin line between "CF" and "CL" is believed to be at 128,000 bytes.

2: Abbreviation of 'Completely Forgotten', an all-too-common excuse nowadays.

CHILI PEPPER: 1: Dried and grinded version of a small vegetable that is used in the more exotic countries of this Earth to spice the food.

2: When discovered by an ST NEWS editor in a Norwegian kitchen cupboard while making >Spaghetti, efficiently used by the aforementioned editor to make Norwegian eyes water.

3: Very powerful drug used to enhance the conciousness of the more wealthy inhabitant of the planet Googolgulpex. It causes powerful halluciations that cause the subject to believe he is actually a Brussels Sprout.

CHOCOLATE: A delicacy Norwegians tend not to put on their bread, in spite of the fact that is reckoned normal by the Dutch. As a matter of fact, most countries other than the Netherlands consider this strange. None of them ever complained about the taste, though, so it's a miracle no non-Dutch manufacturers have discovered this hole in the market!

CL: Crazy Letter. A piece of wood transformed into some or other white stuff that is mostly rectangular, thin, and allows to be written on. Indirectly, this is in fact proof that >Norwegians are not illiterate - in spite of what is thought in all countries except Norway itself. Magnetic sequences on a disc-shaped carrier of ferric oxide, put there using a computer system and a text editor or word processor, are also referred to as 'Crazy Letters'. The latter specimen is a way of saving money, really: A 60 Kb crazy letter would cost you over 20 pages DIN A4 (and lotsa stamps sending them) rather than one disk (and just a bit of money spent on stamps). The current Crazy Letter record length is 846,830 bytes, and was written mainly by >Abrahamsen, Gard Eggesbø, during 1990. Also see >Crazy Footnote (or CF).

CLAUS, LEIF EINAR: Norwegian from >Vadsø who has strange opinions about the age beyond which girls are no longer considered in their prime. Whereas regular mortals, and even most other >Norwegians, might regard this age to be around 35, this particular species of Norwegian would rather have them at >12 years' age.

CLAUS, SANTA: A member of the Claus family who might not be directly related to >Claus, Leif Einar, but who does share the approximate location of dwelling and a peculiar affection for young humans.

CVT: Crazy Video Tape. An equivalent of the above that contains audiovisual information rather than only audio. Its sole purpose is to shock people, and they should therefore make a law against this as well.

COMPUTER: Something surely not designed by >Norwegians, but often utilized by them to create >CLs, >Scriba Communis Responsum and demo hacks. Talking about 'good technology falling in the wrong hands'...

DANCE WITH A STRANGER: What some people claim undoubtedly to be the best Norwegian band (well, that's what the >Norwegians claim, anyway). As of late, it seems that >Bel Canto is chopping off part of their market.

DATING, CAR: See >Car dating.

DEAD: See >death.

DEATH: 1: State of being more easy to attain than >sanity, at least for Norwegians.

2: An American band that makes, surprisingly, death metal. Most popular song is "Pull the Plug", cried along by all present at heavy metal parties.

DECADE, RIPPER OF THE: See >Ripper of the Decade.

DELTA FORCE: An originally German demo/hacking group originated in 1986 or 1987, which has in the mean time become just about the biggest living freak show in the world of computing. It includes, among many others, >Øygard, Karl Anders, and >Ose, Torbjørn. Previously known as TDF, The Delta Force. Editors of the infamous disk magazine "Maggie".]

DF: Acronym for >Delta Force.

DIVINE FLUID: See >Plantiac or >Fluid, Divine.

ESSO: Also called Exxon (not to be confused with Exxos). Big international company that A: Likes making drunken captains crash mega-tankers into the beautiful Alaska coast, B: Makes a habit of building places where >Norwegians like to get brainmurderingly drunk and fire tons of fireworks on New Year’s Day, and C: Likes tigers.

EXCESSIVE QUANTITIES: The number of A: Dutch tourists stored in a Kennel Zitka >camper, which is only surpassed by the number of dog's hairs that they find between their teeth each morning, B: >Papillons that are able to balance on the back of >cats called Knis, C: Farts produced by an ST NEWS editor after eating >Brennsnut, D: Wounds inflicted on the body of an ST NEWS ex- editor after falling on the last patch of >ice down >Skäla, and E: Norwegians presents at one time in a room that is estimated to be no larger than four by four metres.

FEET: Singular 'foot'. Something which one should never wilfully connect with those of >Abrahamsen, Gard Eggesbø, if one is to avoid the everlasting affection of this particular >Norwegian.

FEMALE: The gender of about 50% of all >Norwegians, and probably the most sexually active population of humans this side of the known universe (inferior only to the female members of the Admirers of the Big Arcade Joystick (With Microswitches)). Mainly prey upon helpless foreigners wielding a booklet called "Norwegian for Travellers" who thinks (and exclaims) that they look approximately four years older than they actually are. They are known to fervently dislike long-haird, >moustache'd members of the opposite sex.

FJORD: 1: Something designed by >Slartibartfast, and containing green >water.

2: In ancient Aztec cultures, this literally means 'utterly and minutely insignificant piece of woven cloth made of the purest and softest texas cotton in which us mortals can neatly blow clean our nasal cavities'. In post-modern English, this can be translated to 'hanky', about which Madonna once sang a song, partly.

FLUID, DIVINE: See >Divine Fluid.

GLOSSARY: Something that, when written by any of the members of the editorial staff of ST NEWS, should not be taken too seriously. Keeping this in mind, >Norwegians will probably take it very seriously.

GUKKULUKK: (Extract from the "Encyclopaedias of Magic", Volume I) Magical dance. Performer dances round its subject whilst clapping and doing silly things, looking intensively at the subject and generally having fun. The effect is that the subject will find itself starting to feel very funny about the performer in a very funny way. If the subject is under the >Haaa spell, it will tip over and not remember anything about what happened between the Gukkulukk and the next time it gets to breathe fresh air. The fresh air will be used for recovery. If this recovery is interrupted by further attention from the performer of the Gukkulukk, a crush is bound the strike the subject. (Rough translation into 'real world' lingo) The movements made by a female during which she may or may not risk an occasional glance at a certain >Norwegian who will immediately think his growing of a >moustache has paid off. Fainting may be induced. Usually it's the prelude to a story with a not particularly happy ending.

HAAA SPELL: (Excerpt from the "Encyclopaedias of Magic", volume I). Spell that will awaken the subject's optimism as well as making it aware of the existence of the spell caster. Often used together with the >Gukkulukk. (Rough translation into 'real world' lingo) Nothing in particular, except that this particular bit of nothing in particular serves to trigger hormone production and totally insane behaviour.

HACKBEAR, LORD: Alternatively, though less generally, known as "Ripper of the Decade": Highest titles to be earned in the hackin' scene, first introduced and awarded in the dusk of the eighties by the ST NEWS editorial staff to >Ose, Torbjørn.

HATLEMARK, RONNY: Strange but true: The ex-Norwegian distributor of ST NEWS. If there will ever be a scale on which to grade insanity, he will be '10 on the scale of Ronny'. Momentarily resides in Ørsta with >Anne-Grete and daughter >Jeanette. Should he ever write a book, his CV will mention him having worked in a furniture factory and a PC shop.

HOLE: Something that is in the sky - but you should never ask Yngwie why, for he doesn't know.

HOLST, KAI: Highly active member of the new levy of Nutty Norwegians. He is both talented writer of GfA Basic as well as English. Current place of dwelling is >Øvre Ärdal, but he tends to move about a lot.

HUBBAGNURFGNURFTJOLAHOPPSONHEJSANBLIPPBLAPPBLOPPMASTERFAG: The smaller the Norwegians, the bigger the words they can learn by heart. This is an example of a little Norwegian (>Abrahamsen, Gard Eggesbø) and a big word (the above). It is also the password to a 'hidden screen' in TCB's "Cuddly Demos", as well as that of a Zealot demo.

HUSTADNES, FRØYSTEIN: A specimen of >Norwegians, last believed to be dwelling in Austefjorden, a place that appeared to have no nightlife other than Frøystein sitting behind his computer, typing >CLs. Sometimes also referred to as "the F-Word", "Frøykid" and "Frøyboy" (Frøystein, not the CLs). Likes playing with toys - specifically gayly coloured plastic toy trucks and "He-man" puppets. When he starts crying...well...everybody starts crying. Nothing is known is this illustre being after early January 1990. He is believed to have become >Sane.

ICE: See >Water, stiff.

IFA: A kind of liquorice-like small tablets which exist in the 'white' (salty) and 'black' (non-salty) variety. They taste damn good, and are rumoured to be good for your throat (if we should believe the guy after which they're called - an opera singer called >Andresen, Ivar F.).

JADE GAMES: Fictitious (or perhaps not) Norwegian software house that is supposed to be the first step of certain >Norwegians' road to global fame.

JAMO: Brand of loudspeaker that all >Norwegians seem to own. Be they dynamic, they cannot match Magnat or JBL speakers in fine quality (sleep out, pals!). Not necessary to say, the ST NEWS editorial staff owns Magnat and JBL equipped audio devices.

JEANETTE: Particularly cuddly young >female >Norwegian who is still about 11 years off a certain Norwegian's critical age. Born on June 13th 1992, which happened to be the exact 7th birthday of the Amazing Cracking Conspiracy.

KOSS, J.H.: Norwegian skating dude who just so happens to have been beaten to the European Skating Championship in Heerenveen (the Netherlands) by Dutch skater Falco Zandstra on January 24th 1993. Eat dirt, dude!

LADA: 1: The cheapest kind of hydro carbonate motioned confused aggregate of translongitudidumali revectoring ferroglacial structure enveloping furniturecollectorexciting items available in Norway and made in Russia. This aggregate has a peculiar effect on its owner annex driver - which soon becomes obvious when looking at the incredibly low indication of its speedometer.

2: A popular icecream brand on Multifizzic Omega, which causes severe disruption of the metabolic system. Also used as insect detergent.

LEFSE: Piece of food that looks like a rectangular pancake transformed into a piece of cloth with which people sometimes tend to clean their kitchen sinks. Tastes neutrally, and is used to put other food on, after which is should theoretically folded around it (or not, Elin?). Since Lefse is incredibly weak, this is practically impossible.

LHB: Acronym for >Hackbear, Lord.

MALE: The gender of about 50% of the >Norwegians, that might be sexually quite inactive (rumours even claim 'inadequate') but that largely compensates this by writing long >CLs, taping long >CATs and (though sparsely) >CVTs, and generally translating every small program (including the whole desktop) from English into Norwegian.

MELSHORNET: A mountain about 800 metres high, and also the highest point ever reached by an ST NEWS editor in the Northern world.

MENTAL INSTITUTION: Place where people end up after having seen the "Union Demo". Mostly inhabited by people stemming from a country called >Norway, or people that have been, in some way or another, been in contact with them.

MJOLLNIR: The name of the sledgehammer wielded by a strange deity dude called >Thor. Often found next to a defect Coca Cola Vending Machine.

MOLDE: A town not too far off >Ørsta, associated with >Ose, Torbjørn. It is the place where he persues his academic carreer and launched many an email means of correspondence from.

MONK, BUDDHIST: See >Buddhist Monk.

MONKEY: A kind of furry, quadruped mammal from which all humans as well as >Norwegians must have derived, in some far away and very obscure past. On the contrary to other folk, the >Norwegians have succeeded in remaining very much the same as these ancestors, sometimes still even still walking on all fours. This is not half as terrible as what happened to the Librarian at Unseen University in Ankh Morpork, though.

MØRDØROUS GNÆRHELM: Owner of a famous restaurant in >Ørsta, who does not like stupid foreigners to think he's a Kentucky Fried Spermwhale Dish on the menu card. He is quite broad, though he hasn't been seen lately, after an encounter with Cronos Warchild.

MOUSTACHE: Something that some >Norwegians grow on their upper lip in a desperate attempt to look older (or, so they usually claim themselves, because they just like it). It's known to put off >females, and provoke others to start clubbering the person wearing the moustache.

MUCKY PUP: 1: Bunch of utterly deranged people thrashing some instruments and thus producing some sounds that are liked by all Norwegians, Nutties, or madmen in general - as well as the ST NEWS editorial staff. Lyrics are littered with dirty words.

2: Someone who really neglects everything he can possibly neglect - including the cleaning of his room and himself, and the sending back of disks and the like.

3: Something that everybody actually is - some to more extent than others.

NEWLINE SOFTWARE: A true 16 bit software house in Norway (and the only). They are thought to have released a game called "Plexu" but they're now believed to be as broke as MPH.

NOK: Also called Norwegian Kroner or Norwegian Krones. Currency of a land in Northern Europe called >Norway (inhabited by >Norwegians). Its value is about 3.8 NOKs to the Dutch guilder.

NOROL: Highly original name of the biggest Norwegian Oil Company (and probably the only one). They recently found out that a thick black fluid springing forth from unsuspected depths in the earth can be converted to a yellowish liquid that functions to animate cars and other items containing a non-electric/non-nuclear engine. They are now very happy.

NORRØNA: Place in >Ørsta where one can eat something that does not taste like a >pizza, but is called so nonetheless. Usually, this place if inhabited by elderly or senile >Norwegians. At times, innocent foreigners are taken there and females from >Barstadvika start laughing incontrollably.

NORWAY: A country in Skandinavia, inhabited by strange folk that were even given credit for the unofficial discovery of the U.S. of A. If you ask me, these people were totally, utterly and extremely uncapable of doing so, and history probably mixed them up with the Dutch (that were at the time also highly busy defending themselves against Norwegian Viking invasions).

NORWEGIANS: People living in >Norway. There are about 4 million of them. They have this weird tendency of reading disk magazines and mimicing them in a rather strange language that no civilised human beings (except Norwegians) can read. Correspondingly, the meant disk magazines cease to exist, after which English replacements are erected (see >Scriba Communus Responsum).

Ø: An ASCII character that is quite often present in the name of >Norwegians or the place where they live. This is very tiresome, since it is not present on the keyboards of anyone else rather than those of >Norwegians, and has to be clicked from the 'alien code' department of "1st Word Plus".

OIOIOIOIOI: 1: In Norwegian, this means "Beat it, stupid foreigner, and destroy that copy of 'Norwegian for Travellers'"!

2: In Italian this means: "Oh...how I love thee....but I forgot my lyrics!"

3: In Spanish, this means: "My pants are too tight!"

4: In ancient Aztec, this means: "Would you please be so kind as to take the lower part of your bottom extrements off my humble lower parts of my bottom excrements?"

5: In English, this means: "Oioioioioi!"

6: On Googlugulpex, this is considered to be a severe insult, resulting in the offender being banished to a planet called 'Terra'. This happened for the last time about 1,000,000 years ago, and resulted in apes suddenly acting intelligent, having a soul, and (though at a somewhat later stage) making war (and love) and >computers.

ORIENTER GALOPPEN: Something that some weird >Norwegians do for fun, and which mainly consists of staying in tents for a long while and running through a forest where someone obviously tried to make you get lost. When showing slides of this event, each given slide projector will promptly develop AUTO-DEFOCUS.

ØRSTA: Place in >Norway that MUST have a >Mental Institution, due to the high number of known madmen dwelling there.

OSE: A large number of >Norwegians actually turn out to have this for a surname. Concluding, it can be told that anyone called Ose is A: A Great Guy or Great Gal, B: An Excellent Hacker (when his name includes 'bear' as well) and, C: Extremely Fertile. Also see >Ose, Morten, >Ose, Ole Jørgen and >Ose, Torbjørn.

OSE, MORTEN: Typical specimen of >Norwegians with a surname of >Ose. Very nice person. Easily influenced into liking >Mucky Pup.

OSE, OLE JØRGEN: (Most of the time called Ole J. - 'Olu Jay!') Typical specimen of >Ose. This particular one earned our utmost respect by rocketing our egos skyhigh and always being in a good mood, smiling widely.

OSE, TORBJØRN: Sometimes wrongly accused of being named Tobjørn (or even TOBJØRN TOBJØRN TOBJØRN TOBJØRN TOBJØRN TOBJØRN!). Another fine representative of what >Norwegians are like: Mad and utterly crazy. Dwells in >Ørsta. He seems to have an awful lot of cousins (see other Ose entries). In some of the last days of the eighties, he earned an award called >HackBear, Lord, by hacking the >Thalion Sound Demo. He is known to have hacked all demos without use of any additional hardware, many of which have appeared on HackBear Demo Menu Disks. In 1991, he joined the illustrious >Delta Force, together with his apprentice >Øygard, Karl Anders. He is currently the Norwegian distributor of ST NEWS, too, and programmer of the CPX module of the "Ultimate Virus Killer".

OSLO: The state capital of >Norway. A place where >Norwegians seem to gather themselves in rather large quantities - one fourth of the total population so I've heard - and thus probably the ideal place for a Nuclear and/or Chemical Warfare test site. By now they should have disposed of all inner-city traffic by means of the tunnels they were building in 1989/1990 which at the time caused lots of inner-city traffic queues.

ØSTERUD, LARS-ERIK: Species of >Norwegians that A: Drives very carefully, B: Drives very responsibly, C: Drives very slowly, D: Laughs zanily, E: Likes hitting people's solar plexus and F: Uses the term "obliterated in an eldritch way" rather a lot. Also believed to be the only person in the Western World to posses a sixth Atari ST link virus, which has not yet been supplied to the virus killer fraternity due to G: His total declination to respond to any correspondence.

O.U.C.H. HOME VID' III: The sequel to (indeed), similar videos called "I" and "II". It's been in the making for at least 18 months and still nobody has seen anything of it yet, even though repeated requests have been made known to its director and producer to the extent of him sending it to other mortals.

ØVRE ÄRDAL: Small town on the Norwegian coast, well south of >Ørsta.

ØYGARD, KARL ANDERS. Species of >Norwegians that saw the title "Ripper of the Decade" whizz right past his nose. Nonetheless, co-responsible for lots of hacking. Has in 1991 joined the notorious >Delta Force.

PAPILLONS: Kind of very cute and cuddly, four legged, furry animals that many people refer to as dog, but that should be referred to as something 'beyond dog'. They are quite small yet know how to make the air vibrate quite frantically. Cats and rabbits hate their guts.

PCL: Or 'Perputuum Crazy Letter'. A typical example explains it more than adequately:

PIZZA: An Italian delicacy that, according to >Norwegians, tastes better in >Norway than it does anywhere else in the world. When served in >Norrøna, however, it totally fails to convince anyone from it being a pizza at all. Typical Norwegian statements such as the above, when uttered outside their native country, succeed in aggravating the host considerably.

PLANTIAC: A brown fluid that, when sliding down a person's gullet, instantly warms the entire abdomen and creates a feeling of generally being happy and relaxing. However, it contains 35% of a certain chemical compound of which abuse will result in something called a hangover (which feels like someone is battering your head with an Amiga power adaptor). The current limit of drinking Plantiac without getting a hangover is 500 ml per person per night (performed by the ST NEWS crew of course). It is known to be instantly liked, except by some females and a Norwegian called >Abrahamsen, Gard Eggesbø. During the first Dutch-Norwegian encounter (New Year 1989/1990), two litres of the stuff were consumed by about a dozen people. During the second encounter (New Year 1992/1993), five litres were consumed by less than half the amount of people.

PYRISEPT: Something that you'd better have handy when climbing the ice patched slopes of a mountain called >Skäla - especially if you've already broken a glass earlier during your holiday (thereby severely cutting your elbow) and thoughts about 'bad luck' are already devastating your mind.

RIPPER OF THE DECADE: See >HackBear, Lord.

SANE: A state of mind virtually unachievable by single male >Norwegians. Be as it may, it is currently believed that >Hustadnes, Frøystein, is in fact sane in such a degree as to have developed an aversion against anything even distantly associated with >computers, fellow >Norwegians (at least those of the Nutty persuasion), >ST Klubben and Nutty Mankind In General.

SANITY: See >sane.

SCRIBA COMMUNIS RESPONSI: A Norwegian disk magazine produced by >Abrahamsen, Gard Eggesbø, and >Holst, Kai. It has a totally different approach to everything (including life, so it seems). Bloody good, actually, but slightly filled with the first mentioned Norwegian's stories about his continueing attempts at acquiring a satisfactory love life. All these stories don't have a good ending and usually involve too little space in a car, a baseball bat or a peculiar ritual called >Gukkulluk. The disk magazine as such includes introductions into a new belief, as well as theories behind "42" not actually being the answer to life, the universe and everything.

SIMCA: Collection of furniture and scraps of metal on four wheels, driven by a certain >Norwegian and thus reduced to an utterly deplorable brand of car. I'd rather be caught driving a Skoda...

SKÄLA: Minor mountain at the back of Ronny's parents' ex-house, that is only a minor couple of hundred metres high. Its icepatched slopes are notorious, however, and already have a number of victims on their list. Highest point on the world ever trodden by an ex-editor (and future ex-ex-editor?) of ST NEWS.

SLARTIBARTFAST: The designer of the >Fjords. Look carefully: You might see his signature somewhere over there, though probably not on a >Fjord but on a mountainside!

SNOW: Something that >Norway is supposed to have pretty much of during winter time, but which refuses to fall from the heavens if anyone comes to fill the winter skies with Plantiac, ST NEWS and deafening cries.

SORE THROAT: 1: That from which world famous operasinger >Andresen, Ivar F. seems to have suffered a lot.

2: Earache recording band, originating from Great Britain, that was the first to record 101 songs on one LP.

SPAGHETTI: 1: Incredible mass of thin threads of Italian pasta cooked and mixed with a brew of ground beef and tomato sauce. Normally devoured by Norwegians, but when prepared by an ST NEWS editor who has the tendency of adding large amounts of onions, paprikas and >Chili Pepper to it, consumed with the utmost caution.

2: When associated with programmed code, an expression of disgust uttered by any decent programmer when beholding the source code of an inferior.

STEWART, ROD: English pop singer who A: Happens to be admired by a guy called Asbjørn, B: Happens to be played the whole evening long on a New Year's Eve party at Asbjørn's, C: Is really lousy and D: Cannot sing.

ST KLUBBEN: A Norwegian disk magazine, written in Norwegian and thus totally incomprehensible to non-Norwegian (>sane) people. Looks very much like ST NEWS, and thus (Brag, brag!) looks very well indeed. Unfortunately it's >dead.

ST NEWS: International disk magazine founded in the Netherlands in 1986 without which there would probably have been no reason to do this encyclopaedia, no >ST Klubben, no >CL's and no >CAT's.

SYSE, JAN P.: Believed to have been prime minister of >Norway. Was reknown for his exciting New Year's speeches, which may just have been the reason behind the fact that >Brundtland, Gro Harlem, is prime minster(ess) again.

THALION SOUND DEMO: A supposedly heavily protected demo that was hacked in a minor >24 hours by >HackBear, Lord.

THOR: An immortal divine flying around on a thundercloud, wielding a sledgehammer called >Mjollnir and owning a private Coca Cola Vending Machine. He mainly occupies himself with shooting up passenger desks at Heathrow airport engulfed in balls of orange flames. He used to acquire some fame for having reduced innocent >Norwegians to something that can only be collected using a >Vacuum Cleaner, though the particular innocent Norwegian in question is believed to have grown immune against it by means of having achieved a state of >sanity.

TOILET: Somethat that, when in the Netherlands, causes >Norwegians to frown due to the fact that their shit has not disappeared below water level. When in Norway, it causes Dutchmen to swear due to their bums seeming to have disappeared below water level for a short instant.

TV CHANNELS: Something that the >Norwegians only had one of (the NSK). They seemed to be happy with it, though some preferred to have dozens of channels and then buy a satellite dish and Filmnet decoder. In the mean time, there are several other TV Channels. Even >advertisements are known in >Norway now, having been introduced somewhere in 1990.

UTRECHT: City in the central part of the Netherlands where some Nutty Norwegians spent days around New Year 1992/1993. The city has never been the same, nor the particular abode where they stayed, almost perpetually insulting the host.

VACUUM CLEANER: Device, only too often labelled "Nilfisk", that allows you to suck up the remains of rather reduced >Norwegians. Sometimes also used to irretrievably devour bread crums, dust or the awfully expensive golden gem-inlaid earring your mum lost two weeks ago. The Norwegian-reducing activities have not been recorded after the decennium previous to the one we're in now.

VADSØ: 1: One of the northernmost town in Norway, almost directly above Finland and even more north than Lapland. In winter there's perpetual night, in summer constant day. It's probably a lot better than most Dutch towns.

2: A common expression in Holland that is applicable to people who are so fat that they screw up other people's biorhythms by merely being. An uncanny coincidence with the day/night rhythm in the actual town of Vadsø.

VID' WE FOUND NO NAME FOR, THE: The Home Vid' produced around New Year 1992/1993 when the first Nutty Norwegians set foot (and indeed, kept setting foot) on Dutch soil. It features a sketch or two, an impression of Bagdad during the Gulf War, a registration of the QX+Satellite Video Orgy and quite a bit more that is hardly interesting for those of the >sane persuasion.

WATER: A substance that is quite common this side of the known universe, consisting of a bipolar set of hydrogen atoms attached to an oxygen atom, and (in Norway) something that, A: When coming from a tap, is mind-freezingly cold, B: When in a fjord, is nose-shiveringly green and C: When coming from a shower, refuses to wash off soap. As so happens, it is the most precious (and extremely RARE) substance on the planet Googlogulpex (at the other side of the unknown universe), where the population uses it to grow Brussels Sprouts exclusively.

WATER, STIFF: A version of >water that is slightly (or not quite slightly) below zero degrees Centigrade. However, it seldomly suffices to support the weight of an Amiga freak, an ST NEWS ex- editor and an ST NEWS ex-foreign distributor at the same time.